Father-of-one Jake Holyoak felt “really down” after the birth of his son as he only had four days off work and “missed out” on precious bonding moments.
A first-time dad is calling for longer statutory paternity leave after he “missed out” on time with his son.
Jake Holyoak, 30, wishes he could afford to take more time off work after the birth of his first child, Freddie, in March 2023. The freelance PR manager was working for a marketing company when his wife Natasha, 29, became pregnant in 2022 and was offered the national standard paternity leave of two weeks.
His holiday began on the day Natasha went into labour, and after complications from the birth – including a terrifying diagnosis of sepsis – the NHS worker was forced to undergo an emergency caesarean section. The couple spent six days in hospital before coming home with Freddie, who weighed 9lb 12oz, leaving Jake with just four days off.
Speaking to the Mirror about the traumatic time, Jake said: “My wife really needed my help more than ever after the sepsis and C-section. But I was back at work and feeling really down because I couldn’t spend much time with her. ” Freddie fifteen months on and I’m still really angry and sad about it.”
The father of one is not alone in his experience. Half of dads take just two weeks off work to spend with their newborns, and three-quarters of dads would like to take up to 12 weeks, according to new research. New data from insurer Zurich UK has found that a third of dads have decided to take a year off to spend more time bonding.
Of those that took no time at all, seven out of 10 couldn’t afford it. Financial concerns were a major factor in Jake’s decision to return to work immediately. “I couldn’t afford to take unpaid time off, and I don’t think you should sacrifice your salary to spend time with your newborn,” Jake said. “I decided to take my annual leave a bit later when Freddie was six weeks old.
It was a tough decision to choose when to use up the leave, but like 12 percent of fathers in the 2023 study, Jake felt that extended paternity leave could affect his career progression. “I think it’s sad that as a dad you’re only entitled to two weeks with the baby and you’re expected to go straight back to work,” he explained.
“The first week after giving birth is manic and it’s all about sleep, then you start bonding and enjoying the little moments – but then I was back at work,” Jake said. “We both had well-paid jobs, but I couldn’t justify taking more time off. You never know how expensive life as a first-time parent is going to be.”
After Natasha’s C-section, Jake was “lucky” to be able to work from home, support her and help around the house. “If I had an office job, I don’t know how we would manage,” he said. But even though Jake was under the same roof, he was busy and couldn’t be in the newborn bubble with his family.
Jake, who chose not to name his previous employer, explained that he did not blame the company, but the company’s stance on paternity leave and standard allowance. “I only had four days off. Natasha got a year off,” he said. Statutory maternity leave for mums in the UK is 52 weeks with up to 39 weeks paid.
“I totally agree that women should have longer, but even a month of paternity leave would be better,” Jake said. “In those first few weeks, you notice something new every day. I missed it because I wasn’t there. Natasha came home from staying with mom and told me stories. I wasn’t there to experience it.”
Jake said he “just wanted more time” with Freddie and it was hard for him to witness some of his friends who worked in banking getting five months of paternity leave while he only got two weeks. “I think it’s unfair that different companies and industries offer more. How could I have less than five days when my friends had five months?” he said.
If Jake and Natasha have more children together, he is adamant that they will do things differently. “After you have a baby, you realize what you want from your job. It’s not free pizzas on Fridays, it’s flexible hours, paternity leave and private healthcare,” he said. “I would take a pay cut now to be in a company with a better paternity policy.
“When we planned to start a family, we didn’t think about our workplaces or leaving – now it almost seems the other way around, not considering the principles of our work first.” The father-of-one added: “I’m calling for statutory leave to be extended to four weeks and for companies to be more transparent about their policies.”
Did you miss your baby’s first moments? Be in contact. Email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.