A widow has revealed how her husband’s brain tumors turned a “warm and loving” husband and “loving father” into a violent abuser.
Michele Kenber, 58, says Dave Kenber, 54, has changed dramatically, but until his shocking diagnosis, there was little idea why.
Scans revealed three cancerous lumps growing in his left frontal lobe – a part of the brain that plays a key role in social skills, self-control and behaviour.
It came after years of suffering for corporate financier Mrs Kenber – who watched her son’s stepfather turn into a paranoid and jealous man who she eventually had to evict.
Mr Kenber, a finance executive from Sandton, South Africa, put tracking devices on her car, spyware on her computer and groped their children – once even pointing a gun at Ms Kenber’s face, she revealed.
Michele Kenber, 58, (right) says Dave Kenber, 54, (left) has changed dramatically, but she only realized why when doctors found three brain tumors on his left frontal lobe.
Mr Kenber took in Mrs Kenber’s son (pictured) from a previous marriage and ‘just absolutely adored him’
When the tumors were removed, he immediately returned to his “loving self” and Mrs. Kenber cared for him during his last months.
Mr Kenber failed to get a mole on his arm that turned out to be skin cancer during a checkup in 2013.
“Like all men, he hated going to the doctor,” Ms. Kenber said.
“He was always in the sun, but he never wore sunscreen.
Eventually Mr. Kenber booked an appointment and was referred for a biopsy, but it was canceled at the last minute and Dave never made another appointment.
The growth disappeared — but a year later, Michele says she “started to notice his personality change.”
Mr Kenber, a finance executive from Sandton, South Africa, put a tracker on her car, spyware on her computer and groped their children – once even pointing a gun at Mrs Kenber’s face.
In about 12 months, in 2014, he went from being the life and soul of the party to a “mean and jealous person,” Ms Kenber said.
Mr Kenber missed a mole on his arm that turned out to be skin cancer during a check-up in 2013
Eventually Mr. Kenber booked an appointment and was referred for a biopsy, but it was canceled at the last minute and Dave never made another appointment.
In about 12 months, in 2014, he went from the life and soul of the party to “an evil and jealous person,” she said.
She explained that he had taken in her son from a previous marriage and ‘just adored him’, but everything had changed.
“We were happy, we both had successful careers, our boys were thriving, our lives were social and fun, but then I started noticing changes in his personality,” she said.
“There was never jealousy in our marriage and he suddenly became very paranoid about things and said things like ‘why are you wearing that?’
“He also became very upset with the children very quickly. It got worse to the point where it became a nightmare with him.’
He even ended up putting computer spyware on all of Ms. Kenber’s devices and placing a tracker on her car.
“I became suspicious when he said things like ‘what did you do at lunchtime today?'” Ms Kenber said.
One night she woke up to find Mr. Kenber pointing a gun at her face.
She came into frequent contact with police in Sandton after constant incidents of domestic violence, she said.
Mrs Kenber said: “The suffering that ensued was horrendous – having children with the legal process that went into it was traumatic.
“I went to the Sandton police station to open a case and I was just wondering how did this happen to me?”
In October 2016, Mr Kenber suddenly collapsed while at work and was taken to hospital, during which he had two seizures
Scans revealed he had three advanced brain tumors in his left frontal lobe – the area of ​​the brain that affects logic
Brain tumors can cause personality changes from lack of motivation, irritability and even aggression, explains The Brain Tumor Charity
At the end of 2015, Mrs. Kenberová had him evicted from the house and obtained a restraining order.
But in October 2016, Mr Kenber suddenly collapsed while at work and was taken to hospital, during which he had two seizures.
Scans revealed he had three advanced brain tumors.
The Brain Tumor Charity explains that one in three people may experience personality changes caused by a brain tumor or its treatment.
Other common symptoms of brain tumors include headaches, seizures, nausea, weakness in a part of your body and problems with vision or speech, says the NHS.
Brain tumors are the number one cancer killer in children and adults under 40, and more than 5,300 people die from brain tumors each year.
He immediately received intensive radiotherapy. Mr. Kenber was also given steroids to reduce the swelling, and once they removed part of the tumor, Mrs. Kenber was amazed to see her old husband return.
Ms. Kenber moved him back into her home where he stayed for the last four months before he died on January 26, 2017.
Ms Kenber has since retired from corporate sales and now volunteers at a domestic violence charity
Mrs Kenber said: “All the tumors were melanoma from the original growth on his arm that I spotted all those years ago.
“When it collapsed, the big ones had been growing for quite a few years.
He immediately received intensive radiotherapy.
The brain surgeon asked me if I had noticed any changes in his personality. I just told him, “You don’t want to know!” she said.
Mr. Kenber was also given steroids to reduce the swelling, and once they removed part of the tumor, Mrs. Kenber was amazed to see her old husband return.
“I literally saw the change in real time,” she said.
“He was completely back to his old self.
Ms. Kenber moved him back into her home where he stayed for the last four months before he died on January 26, 2017.
“We had four amazing months where everything from the previous years was pretty much wiped out,” she said.
“He’s completely bounced back – it’s been amazing.” I was extremely grateful for that time,” she added.
Now Ms Kenber is urging people to “be more vigilant and get checked”.
“I just wish people, especially men, would be more vigilant and get checked,” she said.
Ms Kenber has since retired from corporate sales and now volunteers at a domestic violence charity.
She said: “My experience, although horrific, really opened my eyes to what people go through, it’s never as simple as just getting up and walking away.
“I urge anyone who notices a growth or anything unusual on their skin to get it checked immediately, you never know what could happen.”