OK, it’s a little out of town, but this was a Saturday night in Canterbury and, even his most die-hard fan would have to admit, the Phoenix was as dead as an abandoned Christmas tree outside his back door.
Lonely drinker Mark, a regular who had moved here from Watford, was the only person to give Stewart the barman any company, so the SD family quadrupled in number.
This vacant house on Old Dover Road has an unusual wedge shape with the narrowest edge facing the street and is entered through a side door.
It is just a stone’s throw from the Spitfire Ground and is relying on Kent County Cricket to boost its numbers and keep the box office record of decent scores.
Barman Mr Alexander, who despite his name has never visited Scotland, said last night it had a ripple effect on cricket fans despite Kent’s T20 Blast team losing by 30 balls to Essex.
There were plenty of beers available and I sampled Hopfuzz Brewery’s 5% Bullion before deciding. Unfortunately, by Stewart’s own admission, it wasn’t pulled all day, and my tester was decidedly vinegary.
After rejecting option one, I opted instead for a pint of Gadd’s She Sells Sea Shells, which Stewart said the landlord’s son rated was a big improvement.
It was the Euros, the football was being shown both on a screen in the narrow front of the pub and on a much larger projection screen at the back, but nobody ie. the regular Mark or Stewart the bartender, had the slightest interest.
It’s a decent enough place, comfortable without being gaudy, with exposed floorboards, a nice striped wooden bar and some sofas that look almost as old as the pub’s cat, who didn’t move a muscle the whole time we were there . he was deader than the pub.
We were looking for a Saturday night meal but no food was being served at the moment, although Mark said the landlord’s son sometimes makes pizza on Friday and Saturday nights.
The rest of the time he says it’s definitely the pub grub menu that’s being pinged – a statement confirmed for me when I walked through the kitchen and saw a stacked set of four microwaves.
As time ticked down, Stewart finished his shift and we were joined by the landlord and landlady, Bob and his trouble and strife, Scouser Nilla. Bob went about preparing the kitchen, while Nilla supported the bar as silent and motionless as a cat.
There is a jukebox but it was quiet all night although there was a poster saying The Phoenix regularly hosts live music on Friday nights.
At the back, there’s a covered outdoor smoking area and some steps down to a decent-sized car park and a small garden surrounded by pink climbing roses – just make sure you don’t trip over an old Christmas tree or step on a fridge.
The toilets are fine, but the flatter ones are a bit deceiving as they’re not as spectacular as they appear – the radiator, for example, could do with a good wire brush before a new coat of paint.
There’s no denying that it was quiet on a Saturday night, but I can believe Stewart, who is enjoying his first summer here since the start of Christmas, when he says that it’s incredibly busy when he’s playing cricket, and there’s also a whole host of traditional elements that you can admire. .
Landlady Nilla’s name is on the door and she moved here 13 years ago when Enterprise decided to sell its previous Rose & Crown pub in nearby St Dunstans.
For those who love their history, a pub has stood on the corner of Cossington Road and OId Dover Road since 1874 and was originally called the Bridge House Tavern. It changed its name to The Phoenix when, you guessed it, the pub was badly damaged by fire in 1968 and needed to be rebuilt.
I enjoyed a visit to this traditional old fashioned boozer and admired the features that have been retained, the fact that it was empty on a Saturday didn’t spoil it at all.
However, the SD Apprentice felt it was a shame it wasn’t busier as he thinks it would have been a completely different experience and can imagine the pub getting really noisy when the cricket is on. It’s no surprise that Kent’s fixtures are featured all around the pub.
THE PHOENIX, 67 OLD DOVER ROAD, CANTERBURY CT1 3DB
Décor: Some great traditional touches such as the double sided wood burner and two tone wooden bar, along with a few smaller items. But in general it is exactly as a proper pub should be. ****
Drink: Bob the Landlord likes to stock at least eight real ales, which sounds great, but maybe he’d be better off focusing on keeping fewer decent beers. That said, both the amber Seasider and the She Sells Sea Shells lighter were good pints. ****
Price: All the pints came on the right side of the five, which is a real positive for Canterbury. A large Sauvignon Blanc, a bitter and a pint of ABK lager for a total of £16. ****
Staff: Stewart was very helpful and chatty, a great host. He clearly enjoys working here and is equally happy whether it’s packed with cricket fans or as quiet as an ancient pub cat. *****
Want another Secret Drinker? Sign up to his monthly newsletter here – find all Secret Drinker’s Kent pub reviews here
Click here watch Secret Drinker on X
Want another Secret Drinker? Sign up for his monthly newsletter here